finding myself getting more n more lonely each day le... i am not as cheerfull as last time anymore... all friends working till late... all got bf also le all got their own thnigs no longer active like last time le... i got bf like no bf de... he work everyday even when his free he also cant acc mi... today he go to sec link wif his friend ya he can enjoy yet i at home alone u noe the feelnig really very sux n painfull... think le tears also drop... he say i was sick so cannot go out.. but i still go out wad its not a good excuss lor.. he can still bring mi out de lor. i am ur gf leh.. bring mi out also so difficult meh??? so wad ppl got big bikes... just now i really wanna ask mi friend fetch mi lor instead of him... list my friend willing to lor... not liek him.. i am already very bored n lonely le cant just think of mi mah?????????

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my ger friend ask mi go sec link i can just go without him de... y am i making myself so miserable
n so fuck up??????????????? i really hate myself now....... i hate the way i am now....... i really really very xin ku lor................. really...........

sick le... never go work today.. went to see doctor in teh morning he say i am quite serious de... so he give mi 3days mc lor... haiz.. gonan hav a long weekend le... but bored leh staying at home onli slp lor.. nothing to do cant go out.. luckyl dar got com find mi yest n today very happy le.. although he cant acc mi but nvm lah... list he make the effect the com down my house n find mi lor.. very touch liao.. but i scared my boss wont be very happy bout it lor... haiz... coz i wanan take another leave at teh end of dec lor but dunno ok anot lor... haiz... due to now 3days mc this money i onli work less den 20 days... haiz... but will pass quite fast coz they going for holiday for bout a week lor...

tomm its thursday le... dunno guess gonna go buy soem vcd n stay home to watch bah... still not feelnig very good my tummy make mi gi crazy... guess gonan loss few kg le... no appitite to eat also.. just now my mummy just cook some porridge for mi coz i need to take my medicine... hahahah sian guess gonna rest again... tired

haiz.. now feelinfg abit headach after work.. sian been sick for few days... guess gonna get fever le.. coz i feel hot n cold... how i wish my boy si wif mi... really miss him lots... yest never meet him... but he change le no longer the same as i 1st noe him.. of coz i dun expect him to be totally same... at list spend abti more time for mi... go out wif mi n i am happy le... of coz not everyday meet also lah... he will feel bored too... when i cry alone in my rom who noes... when i am lonely who noes??? wad i need is his care for mi... yest nite afetr reading through the msg he send to mi when we 1st together i really feel very sad n my tears just roll down from my eye... u noe the feeling its so hurt.... y do ppl change so easily... some more mi n him can talk till morning last time but now not even 15min lor... wads a big diff right... wad topic he also not interested in den how??? i am ur gf not ur friend leh... thought ppl say starting dun be so close so good but i already commit... y cant u just show mi more???? u say i change but i guess i change to good n not bad... i give him freedom all he wants... wad else i am just asknig him to give mi more times y cant is it very difficult??? does he noe my feeling??? he dun coz i never tell him befor coz i noe he dun like... his charector is very clear cut to mi lor... he dun love to talk but i do... unless he dun love mi if not y always leave mi alone in teh dark??? at 1st was so sweet i really hope that would last but y in all relationship either side will change n wont stay???? or the opposit change after ... haiz... got words also cant say to him n onli can write down my sadness n complain here.... really very xin ku lor.... y love a person its so hard n its hard to remain the relationship... i start to lose hope in this relationship.... but i will maintain it till teh end n one day i cant le i would give up...

now the problem is he dun even talk much bout his thing... how am i to noe wad his thinking.. n now i also hardly go his house le.. coz he say he wanna slp more.. when i hear it i totally sink lor... my heart was been stub by a knife lor... its really hurt... but of coz i understand it coz he work late de... haiz... i really dunno wad to say n do le.. just let it be..

wow very full now... ate my dinner not lnog ago.. found myself slim abit le coz my jeans lossen liao le... hahah em... thats a great start for mi... again my target of sliming 10kg should very ok bah... hahaha now not onli slim for myself but also to look good n hav good health... hahaha like taht my dar also will dote mi lots lots... hahaha

yest went to meet jace at suntec... was supposed to go ecp wif ching n hui xian but abit lazy also... hahaha n no $$ coz rent bike need $$ but tomm i getting my pay le so i anytime le... thnig also.. hahaha the feeling of money is so shock... without money can die ar... hahaah

after meeting jace.. dar n law com to my house find mi lor... den stay at my house for awhile den decided to go out for a drink... shawn came quite late we went to upp east coast road near my work place there de hong kong caffe chat chat drink drink lor... their topic is always bike luckly i noe abti n also interested in the topic so i do comman abit list thats the way wad... hahaha wont feel left out.. i told my boy if can i geeting my bike after geeting my pay bout jan lor... wave lor.. cheap ma n onli for transport.. btw if go futher place he fetch mi lor.. right... hahah in singapore nvm lah... hahaha he even ask mi put his name... hahah of coz lah... ar bo whos name??? den shawn came den we headed to another palce also near by coz dar wan eat chicken wing... guess 3 of them getting fater n fater liao.. especially my boy lah... still dun diet... hahaha but nvm lah i like the way he is can le.. hahahah hope same to him...