long time never blog le... currently mood is very bad... feeling down.. meet my dear bout 9 plus.. after saw him at 1st mood was ok but after that after some talking my mood totally went down.. dun feel like talking n i try to hide my tears from him... wanted to go to east cost to cool down my mood but who noes on the way to east cost his friend call him say wad bring him go to woodland lor.. he say will send mi home 1st... wow at that point of mood my tears started to drop down untile it reached my block i cant control anymore.. n he saw mi cry but i just walk n walk away back home... acturelly i think of lots of things.. expecially when i try to put in the effect but he dun seem to appreciate it... i can say i change quite alot for him but.. n wad i wan back is just a happiness n his caring for mi... dun little things quarrel lor.. n for him to understand mi well... thast all.. sometimes we may also quarrel over money but i mostly give in le.. now i really dunno wad i get from him lor.. after so long of relationship i really dun understand him any more he can change any time he like lor... but i cant.. coz i already fall for him le.. theres no turning back.. if i am last time de mi.. i believe i can do that but not now.. now my life is full of tears instead of happiness.. friends may though i am the xin fu one.. but i can say its a torture to mi.. maybe i can say now i am the one that hurts the most... to him its nothing... even i am not wif bhim any more also like that... life has become meaningless to mi le. i am just like a dog to him.. he say wad i must listen... haiz.. i find myself useless.. totally useless.. even if i cry also like that.. pain also myself choose de... hope we will end somedays.. maybe till the day my heart is really dead bah... haiz...