make up my mind

yesterday went rush to celebrate jace de birthday heng nothing happened sia.. hahahah.. brought her a cake leh.. nice nice.. den treat her to drinks till she abit high sia.. but alright lah.. den tian den bf came also.. wow he really looks decent sia.. haiz not like mi.. always choose a bad guy.. say bout daryll i really give up liao... his always giving mi the false hope i am just always too stupid to do that stupid thing to hope he will com back where the fact is he wont be back le.. this few days chat wif him i really very happy but the feel is diff le.. n he lie to mi bout the air stewaedess gf things.. wads the point sia where he can just tell mi straight away.. do he think that the best way to give up on him??? but i can say it onli makes mi feel more hurt n sad lor... the way he talk to mi is not usure him lor.. he can really talk to mi very sacastic lor.. inside his heart he was just wan mi to give up... wad give mi a chance because i put in effect all that was just a lie from him.. since he dun mean it den dun say it.. say dunwan hurt mi but does he noe he already hurt mi so much lor... hahahahaha now i wont feel the pain anymore its already enough.. n i gonna give up on him totally le.. no point holding on.. com on there r more better guys out there.. he can easily just do anything to mi anytime without noeing if it hurts my feelings.. since his pride means so much to him den wad for he still tell mi those rubbish wad wanan patch back this n that... fuck lor.. i gonna enjoy myself in mu tonight... so wad if i will see him he means nothing to mi anymore.. no matter how much i love him i still must give up.. i hav my pride too.. i dunwan gusy to look down on mi n my friend say i am usless.. i really look through everything le... no more tears n more sadness.. i gonna be taht lively xiao feng again... guys can just fuck off..

wow liao... just hear a news bad news.... knn tomm go rush liao.. i wanan see teh person who beat my friend lor.. cb de.. bo da bo ji been hook... rush really sux men.. ppl there sux too.. kiddy place.. always got problem there one... ban rush sia...

nOW inside my office blogging here.. hahaha ..its been sometime again since last blog... hahaha this few days went out wif ah pa n ah kor plus uncle... hahaha they never failed to meet mi everyday de.. but sometimes i need my freedom too but of coz i never say out.. as i noe how they will feel after all they mean good to mi no harm.. hahahah.. yesterday went china town wif them coz i wanan do my heels stupid heels... while walking around OG saw some perfume not bad... was quite cheap pa wanted to buy for mi hahahah.. i keep dunwan but he say nvm so he brought it.. was happy.. as its the 1st gife from him mah.. n they treat mi good wo.. while inside the car.. they was thinking of opening a chalat... den they ask mi when was my birthday i say sept.. den they say i wanan open anot.. of coz i ask them serious meh?? they say ya.. den i also agreed to it lor.. must wait till ah pa to do the booking 1st.. they really dots on mi sia.. although we dunno each other for long but i can see their sincerity.. thanz vincent uncle, andy kor n richard ah pa.. hahaha never failed to tell mi lots of things.. i will learn from it.. n see guys more clearly..

on the 23th nite.. i forward a msg to daryll.. n he reply mi i was stund n suprise.. talk bout y he dunwan to give mi tthe chance all that lor... den chat n chat... he say that HE HAF FEELINGS FOR MI.. because of his ego thats y this goes this way n acturelyl is not wad i expected.. i dunno now.. the msg he say make mi so confuse again.. but my feelings not that strong as befor le.. but still there.. because of his ego thats y he dun dare to say out his feelings to mi.. coz his pride means alots to him.. i did noe it long ago.. last sat at mu i did saw him keep looking at mi but i just kindly ignore n dance lor.. he say since i like him den y i can flirt around wif guys in mu last sat.. when i saw this msg i very work out.. n i say him back..how can he say that.. it means all long i dun gain his trust at all.. wtf lor... its been so lnog le he still dun understand mi.. haiz.. one more msg is he say that he dunwan accept mi is because he dunwan to hurt mi n he noe we wont hav happy ending.. i reply if there r happy ending in the world there wont be wars n divorve around le.. happy ending is depand on urself n the other party.. haiz.. i got ask him y he can accept a ger so fast n all that.. he reply he was onli fooling around wif the gers onli.. i reply n say since u can fool around wif them den that means his fooling around wif mi too.. n i was liek a fool been played by him?? he reply.. if his fooling around wif mi would he still consider a chance for us n will he still consider if he accept mi he will hurt mi anot.. haiz.. i dunno lah.. dun really guess wads his thinking.. coz he himself sometime also dunno wads his thinking too.. so confuse.. think he dun really noe wad he wans now.. after that bout 1 plus he say wanna talk on phone anot.. n i agreed so i called him.. we chat lots till 4 plus lor.. its like been back to last time le.. but its so diff le the feelings so diff.. i dun feel the happiness the joy all that when talking to him.. although happy lah.. haiz.. one more thing he say thats because of his ego he ignore mi accept ger all that.. but deep down inside his jealouse.. hahahah i see le abit happy but i must control..

we really talk bout many things.. everything sia.. from the day i noe him till now he never failed to tell mi his things.. he maybe selfish n care botu himself but sometimes he wont.. n can see that his pride means lots to him de.. n his a da nan ren zu yi de ren.. i still hope for the day he will com back to mi lor.. but i told him i will onli get back to him if his sincer n really put mi in his heart.. coz i dun wish history to repeat..now i treat him as friends.. hope him too.. maybe we still need to noe each other more.. n he told mi he found a job le.. part time job hope he wont over tired.. care i will still care for him de no matter wad.. hahaha.. wish to see him happy n hyperactive like last time lor.. since the day we broke off he never been happy n his lonely.. none really care bout him.. i wish to bring him joyn make him back to last tiem de daryll.. but i guess its hard... after talknig to him that nite.. i really think that now we remain as friends is better lor... i always belive in wad i do coz i believe wad i done will gain somthing back.. n now i did it again as he talk to mi again le.. hahah we can chat for hours no stop de.. just dunno y leh... his using x800 panasonic phone now le.. good for him.. haha he ask mi to used also.. but i dun like of coz.. he say acc mi go see that phone all that.. i was happy.. n appreciate it.. keep asking mi to used that phone kns de him.. bth afetr all wish him all the best in his career lor..

went mu yesterday as usure... n its ah jon de birthday too.. but never join them lor.. haiz.. saw him again but he never bring his gf down leh.. so suprise.. but i just act nothing bah.. sicne he so dao.. mi n joey go down togetehr to eat at kopitiam near there.. wif ah kor they all.. saw canto n terry wo.. hahah happy leh lnog time never saw them le... den went mu after that... mu was fun yesterday lor.. super the song is nice... plus still got canto, terry, ling, ah wei, sonice n some of their friends haha but too bad we leave early.. can see taht tian abit not happy but den bo bian.. joey need to go home... went 7-11 1st den go of meet ah kor they all... coz he seng us home mah.. went china town eat leh.. after that went home le lor... haiz...

den today meet ah chye coz he early msg mi go eat lunched while i still sleeping lor.. kns leh... den wake up acc him go eat while i cancer to meet kor n ah pa.. went to yishun den chye say later go k song wif his sister n some of her friend den i on so afetr eating went up to look for her sis... haha most of them was from bike forum de... get to noe more biker le not bad ar... good.. they r friendly.. den went to k song at yishun newly open de ktv. meet ah kor n ah pa foe dinner.. acturelly wanan join tian they all but in the end kor they all dunwan den bo bian... chye got thought of going to sing after his work.. at 1st i on but in the end never coz joey not gonig n something happened... not to be mention here.. so left mi ah pa n ah kor lor.. so we decided to went for a drink bah.. went to cosy bay there was place u noe.. msg ah chye to join us.. n he on very steady leh... so he came down.. he n my bro they all very click lor.. thats good next tiem go out together lor... hahah not bad lah.. n now i am home blogging le.. hahaha