ShacK

HahA sORry sO lOnG nEver blog lE.. coZ i been going out wIF my bRo , uNcLe and my god dad.. coz my god bro drive mah.. so he bring us out.. got meet joey almost lots of days leh.. hahahaha they really help mi forget bout thinknig of daryll lor..

got a news from koni yesterday that daryll got gf le.. when i hear taht i was sad but den i never cry hahaha mean i really can do it.. i still will think of him but not like last time le bah.. coz of everything he did to mi.. since now he got a air stewerdess gf den godo for him lor.. hahahaha if he dare intro his gf i sure wont give wad face de... hahaha

Yesterday we went to mos leh.. got mi, tian ,joey and koni 4 of us... was not bad but teh song sux lor.. we dun like.. after that we went to mu leh...onli mi n joey went 1st while koni and tian went to rush... hahaha saw daryll in mu.. but never care bout him... i just dance... not many ppl leh.. tonight was jon de birthday celebration hahaahahah althought hardly talk wif them but still take them as friend lor.. still wish him a happy birthday..tonight mu again..

i was quite shack de n tired not enough slp le... haiz... sian.. dunno leh when i am alone still will think of him leh... dunno y... although now he got gf le.. but i hope we r still friend n not stranger bah... haiz... dunno lah.. now joey is wif mi she slp in my house leh.. hahahah i hope i can really forget bout him now...

tHoSe picture i post is my past memories.. n i never really like a guy so much befor.. but all i can say is i zhi zhuo duo qing bah... haiz... really hate it.. but i cant control my feelings when ever i think of him tears drop.. even till now still the same... the feeling is still there n is still so strong... when i am wif him i really feel happy... since the day he left mi i really very sad even till now.. my mood was like sux lor.. after reading YC blog.. i find that his more lucky den mi.. list he n selene was still able to be together... not liek mi not a single chance le.. no more chance for mi... everything is gone gone gone!!!!!!!!!!! y must i suffer this way??? acturelly treasure someone u like is good but i dun even hav the chance to cherish.. i dun even hav a chance to take care of him le.. he cant tell jokes to mi le, no more joy, no more happiness, no more care, no more smile from him.. y he cant just be like other guys.. i r4eally hope i dunno him in the 1st place..

yc n selene i really envy them.. although there r abstical between them but list they try to solve out themself.. i dun even got the chance.. u guys r consider lucky.. like now i am suffering myself i really hope i can brainwash n forget everything.. everyday keep thinking of him... think bout wad his doing, eaten already.. doing wad so on... n i cant take care of him, joke wif him, be like befor those days... i wish i could turn back the time.. but i cant.. wad done is done.. but i wont force him bah.. we r just you yuan wu fen lor...

in mu when i saw him i will keep looking at him.. search for him but i just keep it myself... dunwan him to feel uneasy n scared.. now mi n him is like a stranger lor.. totally u noe how i feel??? yeah say friend but friend will be so strange meh?? till cant even joke?? i though he will be cheerful n joke around wif us.. but he did not.. acturelly i very sensertive when a sms com i will think if its him anot... i really cant get out if him... u all can see mi happy joke around all that.. but u all noe since the day we break off till now.. everyday i was crying n thinking alone.. befor slp i will keep thinking.. i sad alone cry alone... i also dun wish my friend to worry bout mi.. but just hope that u all understand mi bah.. although i say i will forget him but i noe its very hard really... i noe u all mean good to mi.. n i love u all.. but in my heart daryll is really very special.. i dunno how to say but the feelings.. u all may comman him not handson, not good, flirt all that but i will just listen bah... but to mi its diff.. list his brave enought to try in the relationship n he wont cheat my feelings... yeah he flirts but list he wont 2 time.. but for now i dunwan to think so much also.. life still goes on.. happy or unhappy also like that.. but still waiting for that day bah... how i wish daryll will saw my blog n noe all my feelnigs n thoughts.. but dun think he will~!~! my feelings r all written here.. this the way i can release my stress n love for him..

i may slowly get colder to him but i can say my feelings is still the same no change at all.. i still love him as befor.. i really very stupid i noe..hopw u all understand really.. its really hard to love a person... he dunno how i feel he dunno wad i done is all cos of him... he dunno how much i love him.. he dunno i go down mu partly is to see him.. he dunno my worries for him.. he dunno my care for him... lots of things he dunno coz he never really put his heart in... n he dun really care.. simple is he dun love mi at all... i can put in 100% love in for him but in the end how many percent i get back??? 0-50%??? or maybe less den that...

i wish i can hav no feelings no emotion all that.. i really cant read his mind.. all along i dunno his impression for mi.. all i noe is his onli thinking bout his feelings.. n not mind.. he dunno the words he say really hurts mi, the way he treat mi make mi heartbroken, the way he leave mi makes mi cry n all this makes mi change to another person...

i willing to do lots of things for him... i change for him, i care for him, i cook for him, i brew liang cha for him, i acc him, i tell jokes to him, i make him happy, maybe sometime i maybe lame but all this things i done is onli to him.. my other ex i wont lor... all this onli to him lor.. but he dun understand n put all the fault in mi.. my friends should noe bah... i wanted to fold 512 star for him.. but scared he wont accept now he makes mi scared.. everything i onli dare to think n dun dare to do le... coz i scared he scold mi, ignore mi, cold to mi all this really make mi scared.. even i blog here so much but no point.. he cant feel it.. maybe his happily wif another ger le.. but onli mi so silly waiting for him n think he will turn back...

but xiao feng can u plz wake up.. he dunwan u le.. he dun love u le.. u r such a cheerful ger y make urself so lang bei??? n so unhappy?? cant u enjoy ur life happily?? y??? y???

when i recieve his mag i will be as lifely as monkey lor... n smile like mad.. haiz... none can control their emotion one lor.. even mi... now i really noe wads true love.. n it really suffer n xin ku.. totally...

waiTiNg for train to Mu

tHe pAsT meMorIeS..

this is hiM.. mIsS hiM lotS

fRoM hIM

just com back from mu leh.... so sian... today lots ppl went down.. got ah chey, my ah kor, god dad, uncle vincent , auntie jasmin... hahaha quite happening... but last n nt list.. his always there.. was happy when i recieve his sms... but sadly he sms mi as a friend onli.. but list something better den nothing bah.. coz i cant ask much n thats wad god give mi... really hope one day we will be like befor... when i saw him i never really talk to him much.. he dun seem to be as cheerfull as befor n the time i noe him lor.. he seems change.. i can feel it.. or maybe am i thinking too much?? he may carry a smile on his face but acturelly his not... haiz.. acturelyl he did com close to mi but i tell myself i hav to control... onli talk to him few words bah... i intro my bor n ah pa they all to daryll hope he wont feel weired coz i still wan him to noe my friends... as usure.. my uncle, my ah pa, my bro they say his not godo all that but to mi his diff... coz onli i noes... lots ppl say i am silly lor.. but indeed i am... but dunno y.. i just cant leave his slight i will still worry bout him, keep looknig for him.. when i noe his fine den i relax down.. but of coz i dun wish him to feel that i keep looknig for him lor.. coz he dun feel good taht way.. but my care is always a bad point for him.. get used le... although we never talk much but i am still happy to see him.. i did dance awhile wif him.. guess now he already got target le.. if there is i will still wish him good luck as befor... i noe i cant turn back the time anymore... wad gone is gone unless mirical really happened.. but i still hope for that mirical to happened... but will there still be??? i dunno.. ]

now we r onli go out as a friend.. but in my heart he will always be more den friends... i really hope he wont scared of mi can le.. but really happy to hav kor n pa wif mi.. they r great.. hahahaha love them all.. n also my sister... hahahaha love u guys lots... nv fail to be wif mi..

my new house comnig too.. i gonna design my own room hahaha nice nice...